Laugh. To the Point of Tears.
Ok, I am a chicken. A Mother’s Day post was a little more than I could handle yesterday. The day is too much of a juggle between happy and sad, tragic and coping, to have been able to do this. So, I opted for the day after. Because, truth be told, you can only push it down with so much stuff before you find yourself in silence, and the simmer comes to a boil.
Our extended family had much to celebrate this weekend: a new baby, a wedding, a medical school graduation, an anniversary, another successful 140-mile charity bike ride, lunch with our new extended family… we were overflowing with joy.
As with sadness, happiness tends to come in big waves. It gives the sadness context.
As time passes, and the years without Elaine click over, we find that she insinuates herself back to us in not so mysterious ways. Mother’s Day is hard. Just is. No way around it. For both the day and the DAY. But she is very much in all of us.
Saturday, she (and some kick-ass bike handling skills) kept my brother safe. She showed up in a shawl that wrapped Jana in warmth during a wedding ceremony, miraculously still smelling of her essence. This morning, I passed the fridge and there was this picture. I see it everyday. But this morning it called to me. And I could hear her voice:
Lighten up. Be kind to yourself. Let happy outweigh sad. Her favorite to me: I wish I could take it on for you but I can’t, so instead I will just be here for you. But the most important thing she ever taught us was to love fully… and to laugh. To the point of tears.
Happy Day After Mother’s Day to you all.
Now go have a good laugh on Elaine.